Catching Up

The last time I posted a blog was December 27, 2008. As I write this it is 6:48am on March 20, 2011. It seems impossible that it has been that long. Anyway, It is now 6:51am and I have been awake since 5:00am thinking. I don't know what made me resume the blog, except that it is a good way to share my heart with friends and family who aren't fortunate enough to get to hear my brain dumps in person. :-) Perhaps it is time to do a little catching up, so that which is happening currently might be read in the proper context. Bear with me?

It wasn't long after my last blog that life as Adam and I knew it changed irrevocably. After the new year (2009) was when rumors began to fly that Adam would probably lose his job along with hundreds of others at DBSI in Meridian, Idaho. Before long, that fear became reality, and we had some decisions to make. The loss of a well-paying, satisfying job is traumatic, with a small "t." Big "T" trauma like rape, the loss of a child/loved one, or other victimization is in a class of its own, of course. I don't intend to show disrespect to anyone grieving those types of heart wrenching losses. None the less, the loss of Adam's job, the extreme dissatisfaction I felt in mine, and foreclosure looming like a dark cloud finally broke us. Our marriage suffered some very hard blows, and brought us to the very serious brink of divorce. We had reached the end of our ropes. We were hanging over a cliff by the frayed, thinning edges of hope with nothing below but vast emptiness. The false allure of freedom in divorce tugged at my heart (and Adam's I'm sure) on a daily basis. Somehow, we were able to pull it together for one final effort, and relocated to Colorado Springs to be with Adam's mom and brother, and where the economy seemed somewhat more promising than that of Boise. Our careers, our substantial retirement and savings, our self-esteem, our sense of security, our dogs, our church family, our best friends, our house, our marriage...all seemed utterly lost to us.

No you are not reading the book of Job, though it sounds like it! I could write for ages about 2010 and all its ups and downs. I'll spare you with just some of the more entertaining tidbits to give you the gist. During a freakishly snowy fall, we moved into my mother-in-law's basement (not closets, no kitchen), I got a part-time job at a jewelry store, Adam was offered a minimum wage job at a call center "against their better judgment" (I kid you not), lost my job at the jewelry store due to the sudden onset of chronic migraines, our car broke down twice, and it just goes on and on and on.

Let me end this blog by sharing with you some of the positive aspects of our journey, because God showed us mercy in unmistakable ways. Stormie O'Martian is the author of The Power of a Praying Woman and various other books of that type. One chapter heading I always recall is "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On." Our journey exemplifies this concept because while we were sad and lost, there was always just enough light to put one foot in front of the other. Before long we met some friends from church who were there for us in ways we had never expected. Jon and Stephanie, Chiantel and Jr, Eric and Chrissy, Cathy and Ben...they have all been examples of Christ's love and we are forever grateful for being friends to us.

Eventually, Adam got a better job, and though it isn't without its current challenges, it pays well. We moved into a darling townhome whose owner allowed me to paint all I wanted. I got a job at a community college where I am learning to teach psychology classes, and the clunker we drove has been replaced by a cute, four wheel drive jeep. We have learned to appreciate a "mega church" and have been learned to find community there. Our marriage is thriving, due in large part to Adam's courageous efforts to change some harmful habits. We recognize the graciousness of Anita and Michael for allowing us to live with them for a time when we needed a soft place to land. God has never been far from us, and although the last few years have been difficult to say the least, his people have shown us his goodness.

Things are not all roses, for certain. Even as I type Adam has texted me with fear that he may be facing layoffs once again. We don't know what will happen next, but we are doing our best to keep the faith. I hope this post doesn't sound like complaining to you. My intent was to catch you up, share our journey, and show God's faithfulness. We are blessed, no matter what happens. In the next day or two I will post with some of the happier things on our horizon! Because there are many! Will there be a little Cleary in our midst soon? Stay tuned!


Adam and me at the top of at 10,000 feet! We hiked all day to reach the top of Blodgett Peak. It was exhausting, but we made it! The exhilaration of reaching the goal was worth the trek.